by Romi Cumes MA, MFTI
“I am who I am, and what I believe in and what my spirituality is about, is that we’re all in this together”
Have you been struggling with another person lately? Perhaps a friend, lover, business partner, or family member? If this is the case, it may support you to look at the polarity present in the situation. When we can see “other” as our mirror for personal growth, we evoke the potential to explore deeply hidden, vulnerable parts of ourselves.
Sitting comfortably, ask yourself some of these questions:
Do you find yourself longing for something that you believe only another person can provide?
When you have this longing, does it seem to take you away from yourself? Ie: your own inner strength, calm, motivation, and creativity?
Have you judged yourself lately? Was it necessary?
Have you vilified someone recently because you yourself are not happy?
Did you cast your energy outward – towards another – because what you really desire is to be more settled within?
If any of the above seems true for you, try this meditation. You only need 10-15 minutes.
Consider how you might be abandoning a part of yourself. For example, what have you wanted to fill by another? Try not to get too heady about it in terms of long-winded thoughts and sentences, but rather tune into some simple needs/desires, as well as a place in your body where you feel any kind of lack, or emptiness. Notice whatever sensations that may arise. Breathe.
As you are tuning into those sensations, feel your breath and visualize giving energy back to yourself. If there is an area in the body where you feel a void? Notice that area, keep your attention there and breathe. As you do this, various thoughts may arise that are connected to any of the above questions. As you tune in, keep exploring how you can feed yourself in some significant way. What are you denying yourself by wishing others would provide it for you? Remember, other human beings are crucial for our development, so this is not about being so independent that you don’t need others. What we are tuning into here is how not to seek outside ourselves for much of the inner power, love, and creativity we are able to cultivate within.
From a place of inner peace and expansion, supported by things like yoga, nature, and meditation, we are more capable of giving to others, and receiving what they have to offer us. Sit for a bit, and see what wisdom your body-mind provides.
Much love and Happy Holidays,